Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Dinner at Sam's

It was my last night in Camden, South Carolina, and I just couldn't stand trying to choke down another meal at the chain joint out by the highway.

I managed to wrap things up by 1630 or so, and went searching through town for something decent for dinner.

I found Sam's place right there on Broad St in the center of town.

The. Best. Dinner. I've. Had. Evar.

Tuna Sashimi appetizer.
House salad with Blue cheese dressing.
Sam's special cut Sirloin steak with green beans on the side.
Tiramisu for dessert.

The tuna Sashimi was seared. It was just touched on a smoking hot skillet on both sides, before being sliced thin and served with Wasabi and soy sauce. I've never had Sashimi very slightly cooked like that. It added a whole new flavor that was surprising but certainly not unpleasant.

The house salad was very good, but I had two minor problems with it.
    1) The salad and tuna Sashimi were served at the same time. If I'm going to go to a nice place like Sam's, and plunk down the duckets for a meal like that, I want one course served at a time.
    2) What is it with South Carolina and shredded cheddar cheese on a salad? It's not that I mind having a little cheddar in my salad, but it doesn't go well with Blue cheese dressing. No matter where I go in this state, a salad is served with shredded cheddar cheese on it, no matter what dressing you order with it. (I think the official state salad dressing for South Carolina is Ranch. I shit you not, they put it on everything down here. Salads, hot wings, bacon, whatever. Just the other night at that chain joint, I watched a guy dump ranch dressing all over his steak and baked potato dinner, I just about fucking gagged.)

The steak and green beans were better than the standard. "Sam's Special" sirloin is definitely a mystery cut of beef that the chef has managed to make quite delicious. It was cut like a N.Y. Strip steak, but without the fat. Cooked exactly as I ordered it. The waiter was prompt in delivering my shredded horseradish that I should have asked for when I ordered it, and the green beans were cooked just enough. I hate it when they're mushy. These were done perfectly.

By the time I got to the dessert menu I was stuffed, but I couldn't let a meal like that go down without some Tiramisu, so I ordered some to go.
It was served as a wedge, like a tall slice of N.Y. cheesecake. Seriously, this thing was a monster.
I was getting a puffy just peaking at it during the drive back to the hotel.

Consider yourself warned. Sam has got the best damn restaurant in Camden, and the prices reflect that. You can get a perfectly good meal there for about $25/plate.
I went whole-hog and had this meal + three beers for just over $50 (after the 20% tip).
If you want the best meal in Camden, you're going to pay for the best meal in Camden.
It was worth every penny.

When I got back to my room, I downed a shot of Jack Daniel's, took off all my clothes, and ate that Tiramisu,


it was awesome.


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Hump Day Rule 5 - Gemma Arterton

I don't really go for brunettes.

That doesn't mean I'd kick her out of bed for spilling hot fudge sauce.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Got Nuthin'

It's 0600, and I just came down to the lobby to get a cup of the elixir of life coffee.

I'm sorry, but I did not come down here to have a discussion about what we think today's weather is going to be like or even how crazy and unpredictable the weather was around here last week. 
As a matter of fact, when I came down here, I was not intending to have any conversation whatsoever.

Seriously. Grok me on this. My hair does not normally stick out all around my head like Bozo the fucking clown. I do not usually have one eye halfway shut and the other wandering around at crazy angles while I try to focus on the Golden Carafe long enough to make it dispense it's magical brew.

Please let me know what it was I did to make you think I wanted to chat for a while around the coffee urn. Was it some mysterious body language I'm not familiar with?

I really want to know, so I can make sure I never do that shit again.

It's 0600. I don't do "perky" or "friendly" at this hour of the morning.

Hell, I don't even do "polite" or "neighborly" for that matter.

Thanks for the coffee.


Monday, January 28, 2013

Monday Music

So far I've got Hump Day Rule 5, Saturday Morning Coffee and Sunday morning sleep-in.

I've got to admit, Monday mornings are a good time for pulling a music video off YouTube and slapping it on the blog blaargh.

Gonna be a long one today. Hope it's fun.


Sunday, January 27, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #36

It started with the snowstorm up in West Virginia.
You know, not one flake fell out of the sky until I got out of my truck to change a flat tire, then it snowed so fast and heavily I couldn't make it home that day.

I'm serious. The moment I got out of the truck it was like God flipped the big snow-switch in the sky over to the "Bury the Bitches" position.
Of course, I had to be driving a Ford, with seven lug nuts instead of the perfectly adequate five most other vehicles have. And of course, those lug nuts were last tightened by Thor, with a wrench the size of a fucking telephone pole.
There I was, all 240 pounds of me, standing on the end of the lug wrench and bouncing up and down, trying to break torque on those things. All seven. Every. Single. One.

Then, once I've given up on getting home and gotten a hotel room, the weatherman comes on the TV and says the "system is rapidly dissipating".

Then I finally get home last night and decide I'm going to be Mr Helpful, and knock out a load of dishes.
The lock ring holding the drain to the bottom of the kitchen sink has split, and the drainpipe has become completely disconnected.
Wanna guess how I found out right away?
That's right.
Because I do dishes in my socks.

Hat Tip to The Feral Irishman for the video.

It's time for me to pack my bags and GTFO for South Carolina. This week can only get better. Right?


$10 says Larry grabs the Ginger picture for his wallpaper.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #49

I didn't make it home.

I gave up when I hit Martinsburg. I was tired as hell.
Of course, about an hour after I'd stopped, the news station said the winter storm was dissipating rapidly.


So, for all you guys south of Martinsburg, who got little to no snow?

You're welcome.

Gun Control Dictionary:

Deja Poo - The feeling that you've heard all this crap before.


Just a couple nights in hotels, and I'm left with an odd number?

To the the unfortunate chamber maid who has found my sock under some bed somewhere. 
The one that was in a work boot all day, and had to be removed immediately because it was soaked in slimy leftover water unfit for contact with human skin:

I am truly sorry. No one should have to go through that. Really.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Larry Correia Rocks!

Because I'm sure none of my readers have ever heard of Larry "MotherFucking New York Times Best-Selling Author" Correia.

The best part? He actually slipped vampires into the interview at about 9:55.

Fucking awesome.

I'm tired. It's cold.

I'm tired of it being so cold.

Looking forward to heading down to South Carolina Sunday.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Hump Day Rule 5 - Hoss's Girls

Because I had to visit a couple of my sites down around Norfolk yesterday. One in Suffolk, and then one up in Yorktown.

It just so happens, our route took us right past Hoss's Deli at about lunch time. (Total coincidence)

Last time I walked in there, I was in uniform and had a high-and-tight flattop haircut.
I've changed quite a bit since then, but Hoss's is still Hoss's, and the waitresses are still smokin' hot.

Best damn burger I've had in months.

I highly recommend that you stop by and sample the fare at this quality dining establishment.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Yesterday's Big Event

Yesterday being Squirrel Appreciation Day, I took some peanuts out in the back yard for the little tree-rats.
Once I got four or five of them hanging around, I told them how much I appreciated all the hard work they do keeping my apple tree from producing anything even remotely usable in a pie.

Then, while they were busy with their nuts, I let the dog out on them to see if we could help with their overpopulation problem.

The squirrels all got away and stood on the limbs of the oaks in the back yard laughing at us and flipping us the squirrel-bird, because the dog is older than dirt and can't run more than a few feet without falling over.

I told the dog it was about time to take him out behind the shed and "Old Yeller" his ass. He didn't seem too impressed. He knows no one will say shit like that when Mrs B is around unless they've got a quick exit handy and good health insurance.
He just strolled back into the house, curled up in my spot on the couch and went back to licking his balls.


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #35

What's the proper etiquette for merging onto the highway when there's a mile-long funeral procession passing in front of the acceleration lane?

I was rolling onto 95 southbound and I popped up next to the highway about three cars back from a hearse. A glance in my mirror showed hazard lights flashing on all the cars in the right lane for as far back as I could make out.
What to do? Be rude and cut into a funeral procession, or stop my truck in the acceleration lane of an on-ramp and wait until they all passed?
How would I feel about some stranger sliding his car into/through, say, my dad's funeral? On the other hand, how would I feel about coming up behind a truck at a dead stop in the acceleration lane of a major highway?
Braking in an acceleration lane is on MSgt B's list of top five most dangerous things to do (along with running with scissors and buying a second Glock.) so I made the decision to just roll with it. The car on my left rear quarter panel had slowed to offer me a space, so I went ahead and cut into the procession for a moment, leaving my left turn signal on and looking for a chance to pull out of the procession to the left as soon as possible.

Then things got worse.

Think about it. Here's this funeral procession rolling along in the right lane, doing 55 mph in a 65 mph zone, all with their flashers going.
We're talking about Route 95 here folks. The two lanes to the left of the procession were packed with cars travelling anywhere from 768 mph to 186,200 mps and here I am riding along in this long line of cars with their flashers on, and I've got my left turn signal on.
No one was letting me out of that funeral procession. To all the cars passing us, I looked like just another guy riding along with my hazard flashers going. After travelling like this for a couple miles, I finally had to find an "almost" adequate gap in the traffic and jump out and stomp the accelerator.
I started my Hail Mary as I saw my chance approaching, and just as I hit the "Pray for us sinners" part, I swung the wheel and nailed it.
The guy I cut off probably crapped himself. What must he have been thinking? "Well, Boy. Decided you didn't like Uncle Joe that much after all?"

*insert facepalm here*

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #48

Just the other day, she was sitting on the couch "zoned out", just sort of staring out the window. I spent a minute gazing at her profile.
Neither of us is a youngster anymore. You can see where the years of hard living in every place from the tropics to the edge of the arctic circle (usually alone and raising two kids while I was off in some third world shithole) have forever left their mark upon her. As those years have changed her, they make her only more beautiful in my eyes.
I've tried to explain that to her, but she is a woman, and she will forever fight against the ravages of time and life, it's in her DNA.
Her expression was calm and content, but there was that smallest hint of sadness there. What was she thinking of? Was she remembering some hardship or trial from the past? Was she anticipating the next move to a new home?
I grabbed for my camera. I wanted to save this moment, that expression, like a pretty stone in my pocket, that I could pull out and look at whenever I wanted.
She saw me out of the corner of her eye and the spell was broken. She snapped out of her reverie and gave me a stern look. I put the camera back in my pocket, feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

From The Constitutional Insurgent:

Nancy Reagan's letter to John Hinckley.

I LOL'd. Srsly.

More Inappropriate Humor in 3...2....

Thursday, January 17, 2013

False Advertising

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my

Universal Remote Control

did not, in fact, control the universe.

(Not even remotely.)

Supposed to get some snow tonight.

Monday, January 14, 2013

MSgt B's Beer Review

On the way out of town, I swung by Dave's place to check out the phenomenally crappy water he's getting out of his well for some reason. Man, I wouldn't drink that stuff. No wonder he's sticking to beer.

Speaking of beer, he gifted me a couple of those fancy ones he's always talking about, so I thought I'd give a review of the beers he handed me.

He gave them to me cold, so first thing I did when I got to the hotel 5 hours later, was to put them in MSgt B's Tactical Traveling Beer Cooler. (patent pending)

Then I went to dinner over at the Outback across the street.
When I got back from my horseradish crusted sirloin with green beans and a house salad, I decided I'd start with the Port City Brewing Company 'Optimal Wit'. ('Cause, you know, I'm a very witty guy. Yuk yuk.)

Sample of a typical Dave review of beer:  The beer pours a deep copper color with an strong white head. The citrus aroma of grapefruit is noticeable as soon as the cap comes off the bottle. The flavor is full-bodied and rich in citrus fruit mixed with pine resin. The sweet malt comes through at the end. The mouthfeel is thick with a clean finish.

MSgt B's review - Port City Brewing Company Optimal Wit:

Shit. These beers don't have twist-off tops. Where'd I put my keys?

Hmmm, I always did like blondes.

Whoa! Who put potpourri in my beer? It's like when someone hands you a cup of coffee and doesn't tell you it's 'Maple Hazelnut Supreme'. Kind of a shocker.

This actually doesn't taste bad at all.

(a few moments later)
Is that it? Man, that bottle must have been smaller than I thought...

No sweat. It just so happens, I have a second one waiting for it's turn at bat.

MSgt B's review - Devil's Backbone Brewing Company Vienna Lager

I got myself a fresh plastic cup, so my sample wouldn't be contaminated or something.
I'm thinking Dave's pretty impressed with me over that.

Wow. A redhead. (That's the best head I've gotten since 2002. Yuk yuk.)

Wait, there's been a mistake, this stuff is like Campbell's Beer Soup...I'm supposed to add one can of water or something. Seriously, this stuff is like concentrated beer syrup. Wow.

Those beers must be a little stronger than the crap I usually drink, or maybe I really was supposed to water that second one down. It's bedtime for MSgt B.

A steak dinner and a couple fine beers to wash it down. Thanks Dave for I great finish to what's been a very long day. I'll post this in the morning before I get back on the road. For now, it's time to go do something with some sheep.

Oh yeah... count sheep.
I gotta make that clear, since I'm up here in West Virginia. Somebody might get the wrong idea, and think I'm trying to fit in around here.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #34

Sweep the cobwebs out of the basement and straighten up
Take the boxes we've already packed down there when done
Rake the yard and burn the brush pile
Sweep out the carport and back basement stairs
Swing by Dave's place and get a sample of that crappy water from his well
Get on the road to West Virginia by 1500

Animal humor

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Saturday Morning Coffee #47

Stuff that has to go to the dump:

The old couch still in the living room.
     - Should have gone a year ago, but damn if it's not the most comfortable couch to sleep on.

The "spool" table in the backyard by the horseshoe stakes.
     - "Too redneck" according to Mrs B.

The pieces of what's left of the rolltop desk busted in the last move.
     - Yeah. You read that right. Been sitting in the basement since we moved here. Color me lazy.

The punky rotted pine logs at the back of the woodpile.
     - We're actually moving the rest of the woodpile with us when we go. No way am I leaving a half-cord of good firewood behind. That rotten stuff's not even good for an outdoor pit.

Aside from a few trips to the dump, I'll spend the day cleaning windows and shit. Just back from Knoxville last night. I have one day for chores, then I'm off to Morgantown WV tomorrow.

Inappropriate humor in 3...2...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Knoxville War Memorial

Okay. I swear. Any second now I'm going to stop my daily blogging.

This was too cool not to share.

Major Michael Davis O'Donnell
Dak To, Vietnam
1 January 1970