Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve 2012


and they did it by beating the Cowboys in the final regular-season game, which just makes it that much sweeter.

Updated to add this picture that I wish I'd seen before I posted this morning:

That Canadian lady does it again.

My resolution for 2013?

Be a good Capitalist, and make more money.

Sounds rather cliche, doesn't it? Yes and no.

The fact is, I'm a sarariman for a giant global conglomerate entity.
I can reasonably assume, if I do well, I will recieve my standard pittance of a raise at the end of the year.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Inappropriate humor in 3...2...

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #32

On this day, in 1816, Percy Bysshe Shelley and Mary Godwin were married.

They left their mark on the literature of this world forever.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear --
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'      
                                          ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley; Ozymandias

 Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me Man, did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?
                                          ~ Mary Shelley; Frankenstein

Getting out of Martinsburg yesterday morning was a pain.
Cleaning all the snow off the truck, then getting out of the ice-covered parking lot at the hotel.
Found out I've got a leak in the right front tire, so I had to stop and top it off before getting on the highway.

Then I'm on the road, the snow was coming down pretty heavy, so "slow and easy" was the name of the game.

And ten minutes into the drive, the radio cuts out. (blown fuse) I had to sing to keep myself entertained.

I've left my mark on the music of this world forever.



Saturday, December 29, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #45

Gen Norman Schwarzkopf died at age 78.

Man, that guy was an asshole.

But he was my kind of asshole.

I loved him.

We all loved him.


I don't sleep well in hotels.

I need to get my butt on the road and get home for this holiday weekend.

And damn if it isn't snowing to beat the band.

Inappropriate humor in 3...2...

Friday, December 28, 2012

The Voynich manuscript

A couple of crypto-freak friends of mine got into a heated argument about the Voynich manuscript. I kept my mouth shut and just watched in morbid fascination.
For a moment there, it got ugly.
I thought they were going to whip out their notebooks and see who had the longer calculus equation.

The Voynich Manuscript is one of the big mysteries in the world of cryptology. Most experts agree that it was written in the fifteenth or sixteenth century, or maybe the thriteenth, in a code that has remained unbroken to this day.
Most of those same experts say it's germanic in origin, with a few loud ones certain that it is Italian; and the handwriting guys all say that it was written by two different people.

A medieval boob blogger.

It does provide some interesting text...

A guy named Gabriel Landini worked at deciphering the text. He produced a modern Roman alphabet transcription.
This is a nice representative sample. Go ahead, give it a shot.
If you can decipher the Voynich, you've made your codebreaker reputation forever.

sair.y.chear.cthaiin.cphar.cfhaiin - ydaraishy

Some links here:
The actual manuscript is stored at the Bienecke Library at Yale, start browsing through the images of all the pages and you'll be hooked for life.

I've also found a link to a chemical analysis of the ink and vellum of the manuscript.

Here's one of the best crypto-freak blogs out there.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

RIP Jack Klugman

He passed away on Christmas Eve at the age of 90.

You don't have to watch the whole video, but you should start it at 7:00, and hear about his experience with the draft board during WWII. You sure don't see that sort of attitude much these days.

In other parts of the video interview, he talks about how the TV show Quincy M.E., was used to push a liberal agenda. 
At least he's straightforward about it, another thing you don't see much nowadays.

As a matter of fact, he did grow up in a pretty rough neighborhood in South Philly during the Depression.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Day with the family

This is me ignoring my blog on Christmas day.


I suck at it.

Dropkick Murphys rock!  The album, Signed and Sealed in Blood, comes out January 8th.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas

Now that's how you do a tribute to the troops in Asscrackistan...

I'm giving myself a gift this year, and not bothering with the blog on Christmas day.

See ya on the 26th.


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #31

The secret to Life, the Universe and Everything....

Have a long enough pipe for proper reaction time.

(69% of comments will be a double entendre reference to that statement)



You know damn well I'm trying that recipe out.

(Who wants to bet Brigid's already made it?)

So I head out yesterday for my semi-monthly trip to the adult liquid refreshment store on Quantico.

Christmas? Did someone say something about Christmas?  *facepalm*

Northbound 95

Southbound 95

See the difference?  Me neither.

After the adult beverages were loaded up, I spent ten minutes driving in circles in the BX/Commissary parking lot until I gave up and headed back to Fredburg. I pared the shopping list down to bare essentials, and stopped at Wal Mart for milk, bacon, cheese and soup.

That does it. I'm staying close to home for the next few days. Maybe this "Holiday Cheer" stuff will blow over.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #44

John "The Diesel" Riggins.

Famous for getting drunk enough to hit on Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

While our president forms a Gun Control commission, and spouts words like "meaningful", "reasonable" and "concerned" from the podium, American citizens are buying up guns at a truly amazing rate. More than we've ever seen before.

Just what does that say about trust in government?

It says enough to make me wonder how obama ever got elected in the first place.

Go home Santa, you're drunk...

I'm writing a new Christmas carol. (Sung to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)

Santa looks hungover every day now
He keeps a bottle of Jack stashed in his sleigh
When he gets drunk, he likes to diddle his reindeer
Mrs Claus got a restraining order and a new boyfriend.

Okay, the last line doesn't fit at all. Can I get some help here?
I totally suck at writing music and poetry.

Inappropriate humor (just in case the Santa song wasn't enough) in 3...2...


Friday, December 21, 2012

The number you have dialed is not in service

I leaned forward on a few things yesterday. The idea was, if we're going to have a problem develop that's going to make us go scrambling around in the middle of the night, then we should do it now, not over the holiday weekend.
Sounds great doesn't it?
Like I know what I'm talking about?
Until you get no fucking sleep, and your Mayan-Apocalypse-End-of-the-World-Party-Plan gets all messed up, and you grab a couple hours on the couch and you wake up feeling ten years older, just so you can do it all over again today.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tomorrow the World Ends. Tonight We Break Out the Good Stuff

I heard someone say the whole Mayan apocalypse thing was scheduled for 1100 tomorrow morning.

Good deal! My paycheck direct deposit goes through at 0700, so all those bad checks I wrote will be covered.

Tonight I'm breaking open some single-malt. I'm not getting crushed by a meteor or fried by a Mayan Sun-god without having some of that Balvenie Doublewood first.


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Road Pics #5

Northbound on 95, headed for D.C.. Looks like preparations are being made for Inauguration Day.

Man, those Air Force dudes are badass...

Didn't make it home last night. Spent too long on the job out in Morgantown WV, so I only made it back as far as Martinsburg before having to stop for the night.

The silver lining was that I got to have a burger and a beer with Murphy's Law.

I get a chuckle thinking about it now. We were both so damn road-weary it was ridiculous. He had just driven down from Detroit, and I had been on the road or on the job since 0600. Still, it was nice to get the chance. I don't get out this way much.

I got to meet Murphy himself too. Nice doggie.


Monday, December 17, 2012

People are Strange

The Westboro Baptist Fucktards plan to protest the funerals of the murdered children from Sandy Hook Elementary.
You remember those guys. They're going to tell us God wanted those kids murdered because we aren't crucifying gay people fast enough, or something like that.

Where do people like that come from?

I caught the prez's speech last night at the memorial service. The one where he brought up a list of "mass shootings" and said something must be done. (It doesn't necessarily have to be the right thing, but he has to do some thing.)
It's for the chiiiildren!

Great, time to criminalize another class of people.

So today I will take Patch's advice...

and listen to the lovely Jennifer sing.

I'm off to West Virginia for the day. Hopefully the scenery will be nice, and the snow will be light.

P.S. - Go Redskins!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #30

I really did sleep in today.

The title is supposed to be a bit of a joke. Usually, sleeping in for me lasts until 0630 or 0700.

Went down to Richmond last night for the company Christmas party. I did the driving, so it was diet Pepsi all night for me. I forget about all the caffeine in that stuff. I must have put away three or four of those things through the night last night.

I ended up going to bed at 0100, and stayed there until 0900.

I've still got a little bit of time before the estrogen-fueled maniacs get going this morning.

I need to use that time to get their Christmas gifts wrapped.

They're worse than a couple of twelve-year-olds when it comes to Christmas gifts. Hefting, shaking and fondling their little paper-wrapped goodies. All the while, they are subtly grilling the gift-giver. "You didn't spend too much, did you?" "Where did you get it?" "Gee, this doesn't weigh much at all." "Did you see the sale the BX was having on jewelry?"

This year I'm just going to sigh loudly and give in... "Okay babe, I got you a bottle opener made from a chunk of elk antler. If you're a good girl, Daddy will let you open his Christmas beer with it."

Inappropriate humor in 3...2....

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Evil requires no reason

Sandy Hook Elementary School
December 14th, 2012
All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.”
 - W.H. Auden

Friday, December 14, 2012

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Dragging it around

After retiring from the Air Force in '09, I was quite happy to set aside the running and push-ups business.

It's been a very nice and relaxing three years. I've put on a good 40 pounds of flab, and my studly pecs have turned into moobs.

Not too long ago, I took the transcripts for my Associates Degree from the Community College of the Air Force down to see a counselor at the local community college.

Counselor - Hmmm. Let's see what we can do here... Well, you certainly won't have to take Phys Ed...

MSgt B - (Inside Voice) Gee...ya think? For fuck's sake, I'm forty-mumble years old, I haven't seen my dick in six
                 months, and I can still probably do more push-ups than you can, Twiggy. Did I tell you about the time I was
                 living on MREs and didn't crap for six days? That's a physical education...

                (Outside Voice) Ah...Thank you...

The new job has definitely pointed out to me some inadequacies in my present lifestyle.

It's not the activity, I've never had a problem with hard work, even with the moobs.

It's the hours behind the wheel.

I used to be able to knock out 8 or 10 hours behind the wheel with no problem. Now, four hours on the road and my back is killing me, my butt is numb and my legs are jelly.

I was really enjoying being a lazy lardass.
*sigh*  Thought I would be able to leave that "working out" stuff behind for good.

I have an "I Love Me" wall now. My first one since I retired.

I have a pile of all those old military plaques stuffed in a closet around here somewhere. I know of a couple I wouldn't mind putting up there, but I'm not sure where to draw the line. I'm the only ex-mil guy in the office.

I don't want to come across like I wish I was still in, but I certainly won't hide a heritage I'm proud of.

Aside from a couple of the old plaques, what else should I put up there?

Looking for suggestions.