Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hump Day Halloween Hotties

Oh...You were looking for meaningful commentary? Maybe some some responsible and thought-provoking opinions?

Come back tomorrow.  Today is Hump Day Halloween.

Blast from the past...this never gets old.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Frankenstorm AAR? Not so much

Our power went out yesterday, just long enough to be annoying, and make me have to reset all the digital clocks in the house.

I've still got quite a bit of running around to do today for work. I'm really looking forward to it, Government and schools are all still closed today. It's amazing how nice it is to drive in this area when 3/4 of the people aren't on the roads.

Halloween is tomorrow. My favorite "Holiday".


Monday, October 29, 2012


It hurts getting beat by Pittsburgh.

It hurts even more watching them beat us wearing those freaky "Look at me, I'm a Bumblebee" Halloween costumes.

'nuff said.

A lot of scrambling to do this morning for work. I have more than one site in the area to visit, and I'm betting that today's driving experience in the "ZOMG Frankenstorm" is going to be one of the most tourettes-inducing evar.

I'll drop an update on the blog when I get home tonight (if we still have power)

"If you see something, say something"

This catchy little phrase has become quite popular as part of our national effort to fight terrorism. I always thought it was a little creepy, but it's not particularly bad advice.

Yesterday, on the radio, I listened to an advertisement using the exact same tag-line. I was assuming it was going to wrap up by explaining how people should report suspicious packages, etc..

It was an advertisement from the IRS. I shit you not. They wrapped up by explaining how people have gotten rewards for turning in people they think are cheating on their taxes.

"Jews in the Attic" Test:  FAILED

UPDATE 4:00pm:  We should close down the governement and all the local schools more often. Rte 95 was great! Back home, and still have power. Meh, not much of a storm so far.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #25

ZOMG Teh Frankenstorm

Already getting some rain here. Worries me a little. If it keeps up, the ground will get nice and soft, then the winds will hit from Monday lunchtime through Tuesday (according to the guy on the teewee)

That should make for plenty of firewood for next year.


I really don't have anything I have to do right away. I'm not a full-on doomsday prepper like most of you freaks who's blogs I read, (I mean that in a nice way) but I've got a month or two worth of dry and canned goods on the shelf, plenty of extra bottled water lying around, and lanterns and batteries and all that crap.

I'm low on beer. I skipped the run up to the Quantico commissary yesterday. Guess I should run out for some beer, and grab a few bags of ice for the cooler. I've got a nice 105qt Coleman that will keep for at least 72 hours on one load of ice. (about five 10lb bags)

The Paul Harvey

Although I do hope we find out how the whole Benghazi thing turned into a clusterfuck of monumental proportions, me sitting here blathering about it just raises my blood pressure. One thing I can tell you, as can any other crusty old .mil guy with any experience overseas, is that we're only hearing about one-tenth of what actually happened over there.
John Q. Public, sitting in Starbucks and holding forth on the sad state of our current medicare and social security programs while cuddling his iPad and sipping his Venti Mocha Latte, would shit himself and run away screaming if he got a glimpse of what the real world was like. ("Real" being about 3/4 of the planet outside the borders of the United States...or even some small portions inside our great country. Ever spent some time on the reservation? I have. Wow. This has gone on waaaay too long for a parenthetical insert. Screw it. I'm leaving it. If A Girl and Her Gun can have a successful blog with her grammar, so can I. Screw you Grammar Nazis!)

No more political crap. I'm sick and tired of it. I want to get back to guns, bacon and boobs.

Maybe a little something at election time next week, we'll see.

Geek of theWeek

Ronald Jenkees.  This kid has Mad Skillz on the piano.

Is it just me? Or does the kid look like Marko Kloos' long lost nephew?


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #37

All the local news is ZOMG! Frankenstorm!!1!eleveneses!!11

Are they seeing something I'm not?
What I'm seeing is a Hurricane moving north into colder waters and downgrading to a Tropical Storm as it comes ashore in the mid-atlantic region.

If I'm lucky, I can get all the fall leaves down in one swoop so I won't have to rake the yard two or three times this season.

If I'm really lucky, all the leaves will get blown over into my asshole neighbor's yard and I can be all gentlemanly and offer to loan him my blower. (It hasn't run for two years, but it still sits in my basement because one day I'll fix it. Right?)

I'm so screwed. Today is my normal scheduled weekly run to Quantico for groceries. Who wants to bet there's going to be mobs of panic shoppers? Maybe I'll just hit the Class VI for cheap beer and cigarettes, and skip the commissary...plenty of food in the house.

Do you know what a Class VI store is?

Not everyone who reads this blog is a crusty old GI.

Some stupid pictures, because I really don't have anything meaningful to say this morning.






That song, The Lion Sleeps Tonight, is just a whim away a whim away a whim away.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Tacticool Friday

I had a plan to do some of the same old angry conservative political blogging this morning. I even had a few things down "on paper", but as soon as I saw A Girl and Her Gun's post linking to the Tactical Grocery Cart homework assignment, well...

My plan is to use the cart as cover for up to two adults while transporting groceries from the store entrance to the car. It should be able to withstand several .338 Lapua hits, with kevlar blankets and trauma plates on both sides of the cart. That way, even if rounds go through the first layer, they should be stopped by the second layer on the other side. (Sure, some groceries might get damaged, but better your Wonder bread than your life...

What I need to do is get some kevlar blankets cut to the correct size, so they can be hung (by hooks riveted along one edge) on the sides of the grocery cart, extending to just above the ground. I'll also need to sew some pockets on the inside of the blankets to hold the trauma plates. (I might as well do the same for the front and back of the cart as well.)

Speaking of the front of the cart, I'll also need to weld together some sort of battering ram that can be used to take out any barricades the tangos may have set up to block my exit from the store. I was thinking of something along the lines of the "cow catchers" you see on the front of old locomotives, but if any of you have a better idea, let me know. It will need to be something "universal" and removable, so I can use it on grocery carts wherever I go shopping.

Of course I will be armed with my Desert Eagle .50 cal pistol, but I'm also considering some kind of scabbard slung under the cart for a long gun, so I can be able to lay down saturating fire against those .338 Lapua-armed snipers once I'm outside; either an AK-47, or anything made my H&K.

The only part that's really got me stumped is the "grab guard". I'd like to come up with something that I can quickly (but securely) attach to the top edges of the cart, just along the sides and front, that will prevent a perp from grabbing the cart and trying to steer it in a direction other than where I'm trying to push it. Something like razor wire or spikes. Cart control is critical to my safety, and the safety of anyone shopping with me.
I'm at a loss as to how to put the grab guard together. I'm open to any suggestions you guys might have.

* I wrote this as a joke, but in my research I found THIS

I miss Gecko45, he was always so entertaining...

Assmunch of the Week

Ted Turner:  It's good that American soldiers are commiting suicide in large numbers, because it shows an aversion to war.

If Ted ever feels like being sodomized with a nail-studded baseball bat soaked in gasoline, I'm sure he won't have a shortage of volunteers. American soldiers love to help people out.

Hat Tip to Heroditus Huxley


Thursday, October 25, 2012

October 25th - A Helluva Day for Poetry

October 25th, 1415

Henry V King of England, was trying to get what was left of his forces back to Calais, France, and then home by ship, after trashing a town called Harfleur. At a place called Agincourt, they ran into about 20,000 really pissed off french knights. They were outnumbered more than three to one. At 1100 am, the battle commenced. The knights fought on foot, backed up by those famous British longbowmen. By the end of the day, they were back on the road Calais.

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;

                               ~ William Shakespeare

October 25th, 1854

The Brits were at it again, this time going up against the Russians at the Battle of Balaclava. The battle was progressing well, and the British were obviously gaining the upper hand. Lord James Cardigan recieved an order to engage the Russian artillery to prevent them from making off with their guns. Cardigan could not see the artillery unit his commander was talking about from his vantage point, and ordered his cavalry brigade (armed with sabres) forward into the artillery batteries at the center of the Russian position, a mile away.

Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack & Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,
Shatter'd & sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse & hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

                 ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson

So here's to The British Trooper.

Good show, old boy.*

*(Just don't forget who whupped your asses back in 1781.)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Hump Day Rule 5 - Cote de Pablo

I watched NCIS last night.

Unfortunately, Miss B's late class was cancelled....I had to wear pants the whole time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Stayed up late to watch that last debate.

Not worth it.



Monday, October 22, 2012

On the Road

Helluva hard-fought game. Tied 13-13 at halftime. Fred Davis and Reed Doughty out with injuries in the first quarter.
Then everyone developed a case of the dropsies in the second half. Three fumbles and an interception later, we lost 27-23.
We miss you, Brian Orakpo.  London Fletcher can't do it all by himself.
Gotta boogie. Must be on the road by 0600.
Hope I don't get stuck out there overnight. (again)

One last thing.....

Nathan Fillion, your assclownery is unimpressive.

I'm trying to remember that line about monkeys and dancing...can anyone help me out?

Ah! Found it!   Thanks, Jennifer. (OBTW The catsuit made my day)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #24

Caught two zombie movies last night.
The first one, The Dead Undead, was a nice twist on the usual theme, throwing together zombies and vampires. The cheese was thick, enhanced by some of the worst acting I've seen in a while. I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill bad acting. I don't expect Oscar award-winning thespians in a zombie flick. That sort of thing happens quite rarely. (Zombieland) This acting was low on the scale for even a zombie flick, but a few of them get an 'A' for effort anyway. Spice Williams in particular. (Ginger alert!) She's made a living in Hollywood as a sunt-woman for years, but I've never seen her get an acting role before. It had the requisite number of scantily clad young ladies running around screaming, and some excellent firearms displayed.
2 1/2 Stars (and that extra 1/2 star is for the mounted SAW alone)

Exit Humanity was the second movie. Wow...what can I say? I was pleasantly surprised. Good acting, a real plot line and excellent cinematography. This was a zombie flick that someone had decided to spend some real money on. The only drawback was the slower pace of the movie, and quite a bit less gore than usual. It's a zombie movie after all, I wanna see some brrraaaaiins. Mark Gibson is a kid to keep an eye on. He's just getting started in the industry, and this movie was definitely a feather in his cap. It was set in the 1870's, so the firearms were pretty easy to get right.
3 Stars

Nice slow day today, although I need to get off my ass and make a run to the dump and over to Quantico for a few things. The Redskins/Giants game is on at 1 pm, and I need to have my sexy little butt planted on the couch by 12:55.

Tomorrow is all road trip, all day.


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #36

On this date in 1983, IBM PC-DOS V2.1 is released. Not long after that, I took a "Computer Science" course, the first one offered at our high school. We used Radio Shack (Tandy) TRS-80's, and programmed in BASIC.

The first computer program I ever wrote:
>10 PRINT "Blow me."
>20 GOTO 10
We were supposed to put our name in the first line. How was I supposed to know the teacher was going to come around and check everyones screen?

I came across this gem [ hackertyper ] a while back, and used it to mess with Mrs B. (Probably the only person on the planet that knows less about computers than me.)

Nowadays you can still relive the heyday of your youth.
Go play Zork online.

I've got a thing for monochrome.

Nice trip down to Richmond yesterday.
Spent some time checking out our operations down in Hopewell, and found a place in Chesterfield for us to rent for a bit while we look for the perfect house.

Monday is another trip out to West Virginia. It shouldn't be an overnighter, everything will go smoothly and I'll be back home by 6:30.

Who makes political polling calls on a Friday night?

That poor lady. She had no idea that she was calling MSgt B, after he'd pounded down a couple pissy Amerian beers along with shots of Jack Daniels.
She found out I was a vet, probably because I told her I was "an operator, operating in operations"...she didn't get it.

Cheery Polling Lady - Did you know George Allen voted to take money away from veterans?

MSgt B - He's a politician. They take money from everyone. Fucker still owes me twenty bucks from the strip club last week.

Cheery Polling Lady - that a Yes?

I'm waiting for the headline in the Stafford Star Weekly - "Local Vets Say Allen Stole Money"


Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday WTF

Appears our boy Andy is getting published.

I tried reading the article, but it didn't take long for me to get lost and give up. Maybe some of you computer geeks out there can understand what he's writing about.

Whenever I picture Andy, all I see is some guy throwing bits of soft metal at very high velocities towards designated targets. You can see the concentration on his face as he leans into his shot, careful of his stance. His gaze becomes stony as he concentrates. His elbows and shoulders sweep smoothly together as he raises his weapon. Each time he fires, the recoil is quickly absorbed as he pushes the barrel of his weapon back down onto his target for the next shot.
Then the magazine is empty and he turns to you with this sort of "Aw shucks" grin on his face. He looks a little like his mom just caught him trying to shoot the neighbors cat with his BB gun.

He rarely shows anyone his targets. Many people make the mistake of thinking he's embarassed, not wanting anyone to see what a bad shot he is. They're wrong...he's just being modest, he doesn't want you to be embarassed.

So here's to Andy...the deadliest H4X0R on the web.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

MSgt B's Crystal Ball says...

There's an attack on Libya that will be happening in the near future.
It will be a brilliantly executed "surgical strike" against the perpetrators of the heinous attack on our embassy and the murderers of our ambassador. It will not be an attack on the present Libyan government or the country's citizens; they are nice people just like us, and we like them and want to be friends.
The strike will happen before October 30th.
The fact that president obama waited over a month to move forward toward retribution for those acts will prove that, not only is he a strong leader, capable of carrying the title of "Commander in Chief", but he is also a thoughtful and intelligent man, who is not prone to quick, rash action. (Like that boob, George W.)


Hanging chads...the computer version.
During the 2012 election, there will be great furor over possible "mistakes" in the collection and tallying of votes.
A clever remake of the old "Hanging chad" movie we all watched back in 2000; the new "hanging chad" will devolve into an esoteric discussion of the input, storage, and retrieval of data from a computer; a discussion that can be understood by only about 5% of the American population. (Borepatch and Andy included)
Not to worry. Before we all fall asleep, the MSM will spice up the discussion with speculation about ZOMG!!!1elevenses!!1 WHEN H4X0R5 ATTACK!!!! (even throwing out wild assumptions about who "controls" the hackers)

Riots? Meh...not really.

I knew I shouldn't have let Andy work on my computer...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Hump Day Rule 5 - Michelle Malkin

Because Conservative chicks are hot.

Oh yeah, and she's a gunnie. So...I'll be in my bunk.

How many of you guys are reading her blog? She's not just a package of hotness, she's wicked smaht too.

Sean Hannity should be carrying her laptop around for her and getting her coffee.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I'm sooooo looking forward to tonight's debate

I was informed by the TV News Lady this morning that tonight's presidential debate was going to be a "Town Hall" meeting with a room full of "undecided voters".

MSgt B - Undecided voters?!?! The election is three weeks away! Who the fuck is still undecided at this point in the game?!?!

MSgt B - Do you mean to tell me the presidential debate is going to be held in a room full of retards and the cast from the last four seasons of Survivor? (but I repeat myself)

Mrs B - (stomping sleepily down the hall from the bedroom and poking her head in the living room) Who the hell are you yelling at?

MSgt B - The lady on the news said you're going to the presidential debates tonight.

Mrs B - You're a dick. Keep it down. Some people keep normal hours around here. (stomp stomp stomp)

MSgt B - Yes Dear.

Pictures of the latest Top Secret sub design. Look closely...what's missing from this picture?

If you said, "Hey MSgt B! Where's the vertical rudder that's supposed to be sticking up off the tail?" Then you win a cookie.

Yes folks, that's the USS Montpelier, which collided with the USS San Jacinto a couple days ago when they tried to pull a new manuever never before seen in the Navy. "Surfacing under an Aegis cruiser."

Remember Bubbleheads, surface ships always have the right-of-way.

The Navy was quick to put a video out on Youtube, showing the sub continuing it's cruise. You just know the OOD is going to be watching this video while he's standing on the carpet in front of some Admiral, poor fucker.

Great soundtrack! Turn it up!

Go read the whole article at DefenseNews.

Finally, some pics for my friends:

Barkley's distant cousin, Snarkley.

And for his pet, Brigid. I found a picture of her on a Secret Squirrel assignment in Chile.

I think she's the one on the right
For Stephen, who's getting his motorcycle smart, old man.

and Last, but not Least...

WIRECUTTER - The Early Years

Monday, October 15, 2012

Monday Suckage

I got nothing this morning. Overslept.
Now I have to figure out how to work the coffee maker with my eyes shut.