Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #21 Where I'm outgoing and friendly

I finally got caught up on updating the "Bloggers I've met" list. I'm sure I've missed someone, so just drop me a line or comment if you ran into me at the Wounded Warrior blogshoot or the Gunshow blogmeet.
I suck at keeping up with that sort of thing.

At the Wounded Warrior blogshoot, we shared a dinner table with Bubblehead Les himself, of The Bubblehead Les News Network (BLNN)
I don't know if he actually has a blog. If he does, I couldn't find it.

Dinner at his table went kind of like this:

I picked up a 12-guage single shotty from Stretch (another guy I don't know if he has a blog or not) at the gun show.
I'll get a couple pics of my new baby posted soon. I think it's going to be a wall gun, but I'm going to have to take it out and shoot it at least once before she goes on display.

Two new faces at the Gunshow blogmeet.

Falnfenix, of Insert Witty Title Here
Mike, of Another Gun Blog

I didn't hang around long, so I only got to shake hands with them. I just went and cecked out their blogs this morning, you should too.

On that note, I left by 3pm so I would have time to drop all my guns/ammo at the house, and then run back up to Quantico to get my weekend grocery shopping trip out of the way.

Fuck. My. Life.

I didn't get home until 5:15. I'm not even going to go into what it was like on 95 South on a Saturday afternoon. I should have known better.

My list for today hasn't gotten any shorter while I sit here and mess around with my blog. Once I get back to work tomorrow, helping out around the house is going to be almost impossible.

So for now, you just get inappropriate humor in 3...2...

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #33

Last night on The Couch Chronicles:

Mrs B - Are you listening to me?

MSgt B - Yes, Honey. I'm just doing a quick email, you can keep talking. I'm paying attention.

Mrs B - Men are incapable of paying attention to two things at once.

MSgt B - Not true...I do it all the time.

Mrs B - Oh yeah? Prove it.

MSgt B - Boobs.

Mrs B - ....

Occasionally, Heroditus Huxley will post a "F**k The F**k Off" rant. They can be very entertaining.

but when she titles the rant, she uses the acronym FFOT. The letters don't match the title,

and that. drives. me. nuts.

I finally figured it out though.

She puts the acronym letters in alphabetical order....

Here's your picture, HH -

Off to the Fun Show this morning.

I've got a lot on my plate this weekend, so I'm going early and skipping out on the dinner afterwards.

My loss. That's a great bunch of people.

Because fuck you, Minnesota.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Friday (not so) Funny

Er...less funny than you think....

I can't believe the stones on that guy, pulling a stupid stunt like that in Arizona.

I can just see me spotting a guy looking like that walking the streets around here. I'm sure Old NFO would be pulling carefully to the curb to ask him if he's serious, right?

Hat Tip to Endo for the video.

Quote of the week:

Fiat currency is an impolite phrase. Nobody likes it. It’s something you’ll never hear uttered by most Americans. It also sounds silly right up to the point when it doesn’t. Like now. The debt is $15,981,575,234,553.39 and during bailouts in the last few years “totally awesome pieces of paper” have been created in such number that the Government couldn’t even physically print them. Not that they didn’t feel like it. It’s simply not possible. Even if you get a discount on cheap photocopy paper and have oh I don’t know… big bunch of factories that make money there is too much imaginary money to print it. When dollars are wished into being so fast that physically representing them on paper is impossible I get nervous. This makes me sound paranoid when I get together with the family for Thanksgiving. It’s tough being a Curmudgeon.

The Adaptive Curmudgeon brings the paranoia snark like a boss. Srsly, go RTWT.

I didn't know I could *LOL* and *Facepalm* at the same time.



Found another picture for A Girl and Her Gun, who has apparently wandered away from her blog. I hope she has adult supervision...
I'm betting the EMS training she took on is eating up all her time.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thursday Rule 5

Norah Jones is Hot

and she sings Johnny Cash. Some women are too good to be true.

Yesterday's "Big Day" went very nicely. Better than I could have hoped for.

I'm afraid things are going to start to get very busy for me. I'll try to keep up with the blog as much as I can.

but not today. I'm gettin' on the road early.

One more Norah Jones fix...


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Nothing to see here

Driving home yesterday afternoon, I catch a news blurb about a family of four found dead in their home in Herndon. The announcer went on to explain that, although no one was saying anything about how they died, there was "no threat to public safety"

Then they went back to music, but it turned out to be one of those new country songs that's not really country at all. More like a pop song slowed down just a little bit and sung with a twang. Not really my thing, so I flipped over to talk radio, hoping to catch a good Sean Hannity rant.

After a few minutes of Sean blowing his top about how terrible obama is, they go to the headline news segment, and the lead story is about a family of four found dead in Herndon. No one is saying how they died, but there's "no threat to public safety"


I finally arrive at the lair, and I go straight to work on a few chores, and I even throw together some Kielbasa and kraut for dinner for everyone. An hour or so later, belching stinky cabbage and having my after-dinner smoke, I decide to flip on the boob tube and channel-surf. What do you know? There on the local news is the same story about that family of four dead in Herndon. Still silent about cause of death, the "authorities" were staunch in their belief that there was "no threat to public safety"

I don't know about you, but whenever some overly-officious flunky expends so much breath to explain to me and everyone else how everything is OK and there is absolutely no danger (just move along folks, nothing to see here) it worries me.

Some flunky sitting at a desk somewhere in the labyrinthine tunnels of our bureaucracy said "Just make sure you tell them there's no threat to public safety...Oh, yeah, and tell them we're from the government and we're here to help."

Call me paranoid. Shit like that scares the hell out of me.

So this morning, sitting down to blog and drink coffee the elixir of life, I Google up the most recent update to the news story from yesterday.

From the article in The Richmond Times-Dispatch -
"Caldwell would not discuss whether the case was a murder-suicide but said that homicide detectives are investigating and that there is no public safety threat."

If you can't be honest, at least be consistent.

Kinda like "It's all because of this 'movie'"

Updated a couple days later:

Andy found an article on the murder/suicide.

Wow...just, wow.

Big day on the job today. The dog and pony are washed up and groomed.
Everybody and their brother is coming to visit.

What's worse than a visit from your boss?

When your boss brings HIS boss along to try to impress him.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Blogshoot AAR

Nah. I covered the blogshoot pretty well yesterday.

I'll do an AAR on the post-blogshoot actions.

By the time we finished the dinner with everyone and made it back to the hotel, we were bushed.
I had talked to Keads about having a few beers later, so I called him up and left him a voicemail to the effect of "I'm wimping out, bro."

About an hour later, Keads calls me back and says "I'm out back with a 12-pack of Miller Lite, you game?"
Not one to pass up some high-quality parking lot beer, (free beer, at that) I immediately proceeded to the parking lot behind the hotel to help a brother out. I could do no less for my fellow gunnie.

Pro Tip: When drinking parking lot beer south of the Mason Dixon line, it's all about speed. Proper parking lot beer is not stored in a cooler, those things are for noobs. Parking lot beer is grabbed straight out of the cardboard box, so you need to get down to business before the stuff gets too warm.

Suddenly, while sipping high-quality Milwaukee elixir and engaging in a philosophical discussion with my newfound friend, I spied what appeared to be a giant sloth making it's way across the grassy verge of the parking lot.
Being about halfway through Monster Hunter Legion, I began considering what caliber would be needed for this nightmare creature from another dimension.

MSgt B - What the hell is THAT?!?

Keads - Groundhog

MSgt B - Stray dog? (Those earplugs just weren't cutting it at the range.)

Keads - Ground HOG

MSgt B - You're shitting me. That thing is huge.

Keads - I wouldn't shit you, MSgt B. You're my favorite turd. *belch*  'nuther beer?

MSgt B - Thank you sir. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

Just a few minutes later, the creature simply disappeared. One second it was standing there, staring hungrily at our beer, and the next it was simply gone.

MSgt B - Where the hell did that THING go?

Keads - It must have a burrow around know, if you're hunting those things, all you have to do is run them into their burrow and wait. They always stick their heads back out a few minutes later to see if you're gone. Then...POW.

I'd had no idea I was standing there drinking beer with the steely-eyed killer of giant sloths and other nightmare demons.
Give me Bambi any day...that thing looked like it could take a leg off if you cornered it.

I had nightmares all night about that thing crawling into the second-story window of my hotel room and attacking.
In my dream, it always knew to go right to the nightstand drawer and eat my pistol first.

The next morning, I'm standing out back having cigarettes and coffee for breakfast (The two most important food groups) when, lo and behold, our friend the giant sloth groundHOG came waddling up, begging for some Cheetos or something.

That's a relief...I was starting to think I'd had alcohol-induced psychosis or something...

Seriously. The biggest fucking groundhog I've ever seen in my life.
It must be some sort of rare West Virginia Mountain Groundhog, and he did indeed have a burrow under one of the rocks out back.

I ran back to my room and started getting my M-4 ready, I was going to be a hero.

I began to imagine how I would spend all the PUFF bounty on this thing.

Mrs B talked me out of it. She's such a spoilsport.

So, if you're ever up in West Virginia, keep an eye out for these things. All the locals seem convinced they're "harmless".
I'm not falling for it.


Monday, September 24, 2012

Back to being Clark Kent

After a weekend of splodeybangbang goodness smothered in awesome sauce, it's tough to go back to the day job.

Hey, Wirecutter!

How're you likin' those Kalifornia gun laws?


Murphy's Law and The Shekel - Dueling Uzi's

All of the usual suspects were there.

Mrs B was along, so you even got pictures of our hero.

With Bubblehead Les and The New Jovian Thunderbolt in the background.

The "Quiet Man" was there with all his suppressed goodies. Carbine and pistol are both .45's.
That pistol was no louder than a Ruger 10/22.


Andy grabbed the M-4gery and went "Gangsta" (WTF?)

At the dinner after, Murphy's Law gave a little speech thanking everyone, and letting us know that we had helped raise almost $1,000 for the Wounded Warrior Project. As soon as he said almost, a half dozen guys stood up and started digging out their wallets, asking how close to $1,000?

We hit $1,100.

A great bunch of people.

HERE's the link

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #20

I've got a ton of stuff to update on the blog here, but, to tell you the truth, I'm too damn hung over to get to it this morning.
Maybe after the Skins game tonight.

That was pretty much the most awesome blog shoot I've attended. I need to update my "Bloggers I've met" list to add a whole string of names.

I took a ton of pictures and videos, so of course I left the patch cable for the camera at home, and I can't load anything until this afternoon. Look for a giant blog post Monday morning.

That Keads guy can put the beer away. I feel like I've met long-lost family or something.
Damn, my head hurts.


Need more Hotel coffee...

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #32

Great connection this morning, and Blogger is running fine. I don't know what was going on yesterday.

The new format makes it easier to miss people's comments. Being the attention whore that I am, I hate it when that happens.

Coffee is getting pounded down like it's a work day this morning. I've still got to pack my ammo can and an overnight bag.

Still trying to decide which guns to take. I'd drag them all along, but I'd like to try to keep it light.

The 9mm Sig and the Ruger .45 for sure. I don't think it would be worth the effort to bring the little .357 snubby.

The M4gery is a definite traveler, and I'm toying with the idea of dragging along the bubba'd 10/22 just for laughs. I don't know if that thing will even shoot.

The plan is to be out the door at 8:00am and on the range at 10:00.

I'm traveling with the old lady.

Look for me to get there about 11:00.

Some computer humor for Borepatch:

Update 5:30PM:  I shot a pumpkin filled with Tannerite on the 50-yard berm.
There were bits of pumpkin behind the firing line.
I'll be in my bunk.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday Dammit

Got a lot to do before I leave for West Virginia tomorrow morning.

And my interent connection is flaking out on me this morning.

You all are getting some pictures today, if I can get this posted before the laptop melts down completely.

For Murphy's Law:

For Nancy:

See ya tomorrow. I'm off to work...

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Thursday Random

Looks Like Blogger has decided they've waited long enough for me to switch to their new format.


My guy at work was paging through one of those websites where people sell their stuff online. He was going on about how he wanted to buy a clothes rack treadmill.

He came across a "divorce sale" in King George with a long list of items. One of the items was a compound bow, and since I'd been telling him I was interested in something like that, he took the time to show it to me on his smartphone.

Nice bow, but as I scrolled through the rest of the listing looking for a price, I came across this little gem.

Farberware model GL-CK22 Gen 3 can opener with various can opening accessories (can opener iwb concealment module, paddle can opener holder, can opener rail light, 2x can opener refill modules and paddle holder)

I LOL'd.  Guy's a genius.

I have found proof of an alternate universe.

and they have bloggers...

40-something days until election day.

Congressman Morgan Griffith (R-Va) tells it like it is.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Happy Hump Day

The Tactically Wheeled Assault Truck (TWAT) had to have the rear rotors completely replaced yesterday.

Those guys at the garage are professional rapists.
By the time they were done with me, I felt violated.

I went home and cried in the shower.

Ran across a sweet 1955 MG Roadster in my travels yesterday.

Money may not be able to buy you happiness, but poverty can't buy you sh*t.

Finally! Economics I can understand...

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tied-up Tuesday

Last night on The Couch Chronicles:
Mrs B - Holiday Inn Express?  It's more expensive than Hampton Inn, and Hampton has a better breakfast.
MSgt B - Yeah, but Murphy's Law says it's walking distance from the local restaurants, and I want to drink beer and stagger my way back to the hotel. I don't plan on eating much of a breakfast.
Mrs B - Alright, as long as it's close. *opening laptop*  I'll need to buy a new shirt.
MSgt B - ???
49 Days until election day
I know, right? CNN?
Turns out it's an opinion piece done by a "contributor". Should have known he doesn't actually work there...

Monday, September 17, 2012's Monday already?

Went skimming back over my last few blog entries this, my typing is going to hell.
And not one of you guys said anything about all the typos and dropped/swapped letters and such.

Where have all the good grammar-Nazis gone?

Redskins lost their game last night. Bummer.

Still a lot of fun to watch, though. Why we stuck with that crappy zone defense for so long is a mystery to me. If we had gone man-to-man early, like we did last week, St. Louis would have scored a lot less.

My new word for the week:  "Shanahanigans"

Monster Hunter Legion is f***ing awesome, by the way.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Sunday morning sleep-in #19

Well now. I was headed out yesterday morning to do the grocery shopping up at Quantico, but I missed my exit...

I figured it would be just as easy to continue on up the road to Ft Belvoir as it would be to turn around and head back to Q-Town, and wouldn't you know it, Larry Correia happened to be there at the exchange, signing copies of Monster Hunter Legion.
(I need to keep my story straight, just in case my old lady ever acually reads my blog. I was supposed to trade my MHL trip for the Wounded Warrior blogshoot on the 22nd.)
No time for more than a quick meet and greet, but I definitely wanted to get my hands on a copy of MHL.

When I first walked in, he was right there at a table by the entrance, getting things set up and talking with some of the AAFES mafia. Suddenly, I realized exactly what it was I was about to do...I was about to meet the great Larry "M***er-F***ing New York Times Best-Selling Author" Correia (LMFNYTBSAC) without Nancy R along.

Oh crap...this could go badly for me...think fast, rabbit.

I peeled off towards the checkout lanes to give myself some time to think. By the time I had bought a pack of gum, I had my plan.

I ran back out to the truck, grabbed my Hoplorati hat and headed back in to introduce myself.

He couldn't have been a nicer guy. He even pretended to recognize my name when I introduced myself as 'MSgt B'.

We chatted for a bit as I got my MHL copy signed, and I got him to sign my Hoplorati hat for Nancy. To the best of my recollection, the conversation went something like this:

LMFNYTBSAC - "Hi! I'm Larry. Nice to meet you."

MSgt B - "Squee sqe squeeee.....squee."

LMFNYTBSAC - "Um...anything in particular you want me to write in here?"

MSgt B - "Just MSgt B"

LMFNYTBSAC - "Okay! 'To MSgt B' "

MSgt B - "Umm...can you do me a favor?"


MSgt B - "Can you sign this Hoplorati hat for Nancy R?"

LMFNYTBSAC - "Wow! You know Nancy R? You must be someone important!"

MSgt B - "Yeah. I'm big on the internet. She's even acknowledged me in public."

LMFNYTBSAC - "Cool! Can I shake your hand?"

It might not be exactly word-for-word, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Take a close look at that picture, folks...I AM SIX FEET TALL... No, really...I am...that's not a joke.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a book to read.


Apropos of nothing. This video is pee-in-your-pants funny. Had to add it.

The reflective belts are a nice touch.

Hat Tip to Code Monkey over at From My Position...

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #31

Two rabid beaver attacks in northern Virginia in as many weeks.

I've been telling everyone that rampant modern liberalism is a disease, and that it has been spreading southwards from Washington D.C. virtually unchecked.

Now it has apparently jumped species. And what's it's first victim?  Rats...go figure.

Yes folks, those cute little fuzzy dam-building creatures are rodents.

Big rodents, with four inch incisors that can rip your arm off at the elbow in a single swipe. (People forget that part.)

Give them EBT cards...that should settle them down.

To continue my "Pics dedicated to my blog buddies" theme from last week, I've found a couple more for the Indy crew.

For Brigid:

For Tam:

For Bobbie:

Srsly, go read Roberta X's post on the embassy attacks, my cockles were warmed by it.

Really. This stuff going on in the middle-east with our embassies getting mobbed, and our flag being torn down is quite bothersome to me.

I understand completely that our Marines are required to let local authorities handle things as long as the "protesters" are outside the walls, but where are the pictures of the flagpole on the emabssy grounds surrounded by stacks of bodies?

The way I understand it, the land insde the walls of our embassy is the sovereign territory of the United States.

Where are you, Marines?

And where is our media? I sat through an excruciating hour of evening news last night, trying to find out how things were going over there.
My reward was a 30 second spot consisting mostly of president obama and secretary clinton speaking at the return of our dead.
Nothing else, unless you count the five minutes spent on Gangnam as "foreign affairs" reporting.

Wicked sense of humor. How can I top that?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Three cheers

53 Days until election day.

A lot has changed over the last week. I think the fruits of our current president's labors are being harvested by peace-loving and democratic people all over the middle east.

Three cheers for "The Great Peacemaker", fuck it.

Haven't had much time for the blog lately, nor for reading anyone else's stuff.  I'm sure I'm just echo-chambering.

Don't forget about our naval exercises planned for this month in the middle-east

That should make everyone feel better.

Wow.  Depressing.

Lemme shuffle through my collection and see if I have some boobie pictures to brighten up your Friday.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

As the cool breezes of autumn return

On the second day of the Battle of Chapultepec, (You know, "The Halls of Montezuma") Lieutenant Thomas Jackson was ordered onto the main causeway with two cannon, to support troops pinned down by fire from the fortress.

As soon as his unit was in range, they came under heavy fire from the walls. Many of his men were cut down, and most of the horses drawing the guns were shot dead in their harnesses. The rest of his unit took cover in the low ground to either side of the causeway.

Thomas stayed with his guns, furiously working alone to unlimber them and turn them on the fort. His troopers looked on in awe at Thomas "as calm in the midst of a hurricane of bullets as though he were on dress parade at West Point."
As he moved back and forth from one gun to the other, he shouted to his men for help, and a few returned to the open causeway to assist him.

The Mexicans could clearly see what was going on, and sent 1500 mounted lancers to sweep the causeway clean. As the lancers formed up and began their charge, Thomas ordered the guns loaded with grapeshot. The fire was devastating. As Thomas stated later, "We cut lanes through them."

Lieutenant Thomas Jackson was recognized for his bravery by General Winfield Scott, and was given a brevet promotion to Captain.

After the Mexican-American War, Thomas had settled down as a professor at the Virginia Military Institute. When one of his students had found out about his heroism during the last war, the cadet asked him why he stayed with his guns when he was so obviously vastly outnumbered. He replied "I was not ordered to do so. If I had been ordered to run, I would have."

Many years after that, at a place called Henry Hill in Manassas Virginia, General Barnard Bee (who, once upon a time, had been a young Lieutenant, hiding on the low ground with his men next to a causeway in Mexico) cried out to his troops as they were retreating "Look! There stands Jackson like a stone wall! Rally behind the Virginians!"


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

September 12, 2003

Old Johnny shuffled off the mortal coil. Doesn't feel like nine years ago already.

Johnny's last interview in the video below. If you don't have the time to watch the whole six minutes, just skip forward to 5:15.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tied-up Tuesday

I was stationed at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk, England. Working swing shift.

I woke up late in the morning, after the kids were gone to school, and rushed to get in to work early for one reason or another. (Likely some B.S. paperwork had to be accomplished.) Mrs B said she would gather the kids after school and come down to the base so we could have dinner together later.

When I arrived on base, it was obvious something had gone terribly wrong.

For Yabu:

Linguine with a spicy seafood sauce. Made with white wine, mussels, red onions, garlic, crushed red pepper and BACON.


When I first saw this picture I thought it was some kind of weird bondage thing.

Turns out it's actually a bikini or something.

It goes up for Tied-up Tuesday anyway, because...well...boobs.