Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sunday morning sleep-in #38

Okay. Okay.

Now I'm busting my ass to get my chores done before leaving town again.

Completely blew off yesterday.
Sat around the living room and had a farting competition with the dog.

The dog won.

Then he got banned from the living room.

Sorry buddy. Life's not fair.

He did, however, get some squirrel chasing training with the flashlight beam in the backyard.

I need to take better care of my hands. They're getting torn up from the cold, and all the RO- and DI-water they come into contact with. That stuff dries your skin out something fierce.
The Go-Jo cleaner I use is supposed to have some kind of lotion in it, but I don't think it's doing the job. I like the smell though. Smells kinda like gasoline.
Problem is, I don't pay enough attention to them, until they get so bad my knuckles split open when I make a fist. Then I put that Go-Jo on there and it stings like a motherfucker.

Don't even start with the masturbation jokes. You bunch of freaks.

I'm not much of a lotion guy. Stuff feels kinda slimy, and then you have to put up with that perfumy smell all over your hands. I need a lotion that smells like gasoline or pine logs or something. Or better yet, bacon. Yeah, bacon-scented hand lotion...that's the ticket.

Wasn't Jennifer hawking some lotion a while back? I wonder if it's smelly stuff.

Does anyone know of a good dude-type lotion out there? You know, something where I can leave a can of it on the dash of my truck without getting funny looks, and I don't have to walk around smelling like perfume.


Old NFO said...

I use O'Keefe's Working Hands. It's unscented and works pretty well. I've also found Nivea for Men at the commissary. And I 'hope' you lost to the dog, if not, you've got problems!!! :-)

taminator013 said...

I use Udderly Smooth udder cream. Works really well and is not slimy.Just really clean smelling,too. And relatively cheap.

billf said...

All right now,don't laugh til you try it.I've been a mechanic all my life and I know what you're talking about -chapped broken hands all winter.Some time ago I learned if you rub apple cider vinegar into your skin several times a day ,it heals the chapping and makes the skin soft and tough,kind of like tanning leather.It really works and once you try it,you will do it all the time.Once it evaporates,it only smells a little,and it's not greasy at all.Bill

SENIOR said...

I have received Vanicream from the VA before for dry skin, now you can find it in Target stores. Works real well and unscented.

mostlycajun said...

"Cornhuskers" used to be my favorite, but I tore my skin up with chlorinated solvents a few years ago and used some "Eucerin Plus" from the local Walgreens and I think it can't be beat. Doesn't smell too 'girly' and works in so you don't feel too greasy.


Paxford said...

Mmm... Bacon!


Bob said...

I used to use Goop when I was in the Navy, and I note that they make a dedicated hand cleaner. And it's available everywhere.

Coffeypot said...

Readers Digest suggested: To remove car grease or paint from your hands, pour 1 teaspoon olive oil and 1 teaspoon salt or sugar into your palms. Vigorously rub the mixture into your hands and between your fingers for several minutes; then wash it off with soap and water. Not only will your hands be cleaner, they’ll be softer as well.
I advise you don't let Popeye find out, though. You've seen what he does to Bluto.

Suz said...

O'Keefe's and Eucerin (the latter comes in a generic.) A little avocado or argan oil to moisturize before you put on the heavy "barrier" creams. Load up and cover with surgical gloves for a while when you're sitting in front of the TV.

B said...

Okeefes is the best for me:

no smell, not slimy and it works.

Don't rub yer eyes afterwards. Don't ask

MSgt B said...

Wow. I got every suggestion from oil to vinegar, and everything in between. Looks like O'Keefe's pulled ahead by a nose there at the end. I'll go try to find some today.

I changed my mind about the bacon-scented stuff. The dog is pretty big, and I might lose a hand.

Hotel1 said...

Bag Balm
Worked as a UPS drivers helper one Christmas.
Hands split wide open.
The drivers use it.
Non greasy and farmers have been using it forever.
It's part of the New England lore.
If you can't fix it with Bag Balm and duct tape.
It can't be fixed...

Jennifer said...

It was body wash and does smell girly, but it only smells while it's all lathery. It's not enough to keep my hands from cracking though.
May have to give the O'Keefe's a try given the recommendations here.

Hotel1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hotel1 said...

For major crackage.