Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Dragging it around

After retiring from the Air Force in '09, I was quite happy to set aside the running and push-ups business.

It's been a very nice and relaxing three years. I've put on a good 40 pounds of flab, and my studly pecs have turned into moobs.

Not too long ago, I took the transcripts for my Associates Degree from the Community College of the Air Force down to see a counselor at the local community college.

Counselor - Hmmm. Let's see what we can do here... Well, you certainly won't have to take Phys Ed...

MSgt B - (Inside Voice) Gee...ya think? For fuck's sake, I'm forty-mumble years old, I haven't seen my dick in six
                 months, and I can still probably do more push-ups than you can, Twiggy. Did I tell you about the time I was
                 living on MREs and didn't crap for six days? That's a physical education...

                (Outside Voice) Ah...Thank you...

The new job has definitely pointed out to me some inadequacies in my present lifestyle.

It's not the activity, I've never had a problem with hard work, even with the moobs.

It's the hours behind the wheel.

I used to be able to knock out 8 or 10 hours behind the wheel with no problem. Now, four hours on the road and my back is killing me, my butt is numb and my legs are jelly.

I was really enjoying being a lazy lardass.
*sigh*  Thought I would be able to leave that "working out" stuff behind for good.

I have an "I Love Me" wall now. My first one since I retired.

I have a pile of all those old military plaques stuffed in a closet around here somewhere. I know of a couple I wouldn't mind putting up there, but I'm not sure where to draw the line. I'm the only ex-mil guy in the office.

I don't want to come across like I wish I was still in, but I certainly won't hide a heritage I'm proud of.

Aside from a couple of the old plaques, what else should I put up there?

Looking for suggestions.


Jess said...

Put up one of those big visual, dry erase calenders. Write things in tiny handwriting and watch people try to figure out what you wrote.

eiaftinfo said...

I put up 6 photos on part of my wall. I got 6 of those cheap plastic frames and then matts for them. Then I rotate photos through them - family, trips, landscapes - you get the idea. It let's me change the wall throughout the year. Some "outside" photos might be nice because you seem to lack a window?

One other gentle thought . . . . .

A Rolodex?!?!?!?!?


Wish I had a soltuion to windshield time too - got a trip to PA coming again - 13 hours. Heavy sigh. Drive safe sir!

Christina LMT said...

In addition to getting more physical activity, I'd recommend regular massage now that you're driving so much. It will benefit you for sure!
(And no, I'm not talking about a visit to the local Rub'n'Tug, either...)

jon spencer said...

Rotating pictures sounds good.
As for your back, butt and legs you might want to try a stand up desk.

Larry said...

You need this poster:

Geodkyt said...

I have things like the "This is a Velocoraptor Free Workplace. It has been 0 {looks like it was fingerpainted in smudged blood} days since our last incident." things up. . .

No Army "I love me" stuff, except a Drill Sergeant badge pinned to the partition. . .

riverrider said...

aw come on guys, where's the psyops? this is industrial warefare pics to show you're human, then medals/commedations to show you're super-human, then pics of you in the most exotic places you went in service to make them jealous. maybe throw in a shooty pic with some badass weapon. psyops!lets them know WHY you're the boss in a visual way, since your belly (and mine) doesn't.

Coffeypot said...

I think anything you want to put up would be okay and show your proud service that they didn't bother to do. Well, I would draw the line at the string of cut-off ears. Perhaps you shouldn't hang those on the wall.

agirlandhergun said...

Won't hide an heritage I am proud of...good for you!!

Nancy R. said...

I like the way riverrider thinks. I've started a wall of autographed pics of sucessful bloggers. Goes with the brass from the CIWS and the 18th century hand grenade. And a couple of good targets.

azmrmacs said...

Adding to riverrider:
A well-perforated shootin' target. Nice grouping, big holes preferably. (scare the hoplophobes)
A few funny pictures or quotes. (you have a sense of humor)
Whiteboard is mandatory for scribbling (Jess!)
Some classy stature or picture (You are dignified, you have a sense of taste)
A bowl of mints or such on the desk (for visitors)
A bottle of your favorite, non-refrigerated beverage in the bottom drawer with a couple of glasses (not plastic) for you and your SPECIAL visitors.

azmrmacs said...

My last line meant to say "... non-refrigerated alcoholic beverage..."

MSgt B said...

Jess - Got that part already on another wall. People come write stuff on my whiteboard and I look at them like they just kicked my dog.

East IA - That's a good idea. (and it came with the office)

Christina - LOL You read my mind.

Jon - I don't think I actually spend enough time in the office for it to do any good.

Larry - Ha Ha. Not in a million years.

Geodkyt - I've seen that before. I like it.

riverrider - Ha Ha. and a zombie target

Coffey - Darn, I've been looking for a place to hang those...

A Girl - Keepin it real.

Nancy - and a bayonet, something eighteenth centuryish...

MrMacs - I had a bowl of mints. I put it on the desk and went to SC for three days. I don't have a bowl of mints anymore...

Christina LMT said...

Msgt B, I know you well enough now to head stuff off at the pass. ;)

Old NFO said...

I've got four pictures up on my wall... A crew picture from Vietnam, one of a sub, one taken in Alaska with the Northern Lights, and a staff picture... Pretty much covers my career.