Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet.

Life is Hard. Wear a Helmet

Virginia State Constitution: Article 1; Section 13
That a well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state, therefore, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.

Alabama State Constitution: Article 1: Section 26
That every Citizen has a right to bear arms in defense of himself and the State.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Saturday Morning Coffee #38

Last night, on The Couch Chronicles:

Mrs B - What the hell are you doing with your beard?

MSgt B - I'm growing "Porkchops"

Mrs B - You look like an idiot.

MSgt B - I saw where some guy on the internet had them, and I wanted to try it out. He looked pretty cool.

Mrs B - You look like some guy left over from the Civil War.

MSgt B - Funny you should say that. The term "Sideburns" is said to come from the facial hair of General Ambrose Burnside. He had one helluva pair of "Porkchops".

Mrs B - Never heard of him.

MSgt B - Well...he was a Union General. We don't talk about those guys much around here, especially not in Fredericksburg. He got his ass handed to him here.

Mrs B - ....

MSgt B - I'll go shave them off now.



Jess said...

I grew a beard once. It didn't look that bad, although it itched like hell when it started to grow.

My wife didn't like it and eventually told me it made me look mean. It's bad enough looking like crap, without looking mean, so I shaved it off.

Odysseus said...

Just tell the Mrs that at least you weren't trying to honor General Hooker.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

His sideburns are even more impressive in person!
Next time, tell her you're participating in Movember, or something :-)

agirlandhergun said...

Oh man, I wanted to see that.

Coffeypot said...

I didn't think I would like it, so I never tried to grow a beard. Now, for the past three years I have one and love it. But the lady of the house does rule...she controls half the money and all the p....well...she is in control.

MSgt B said...

Jess - Mine makes me look old. She says it adds ten years to my face.

Odie - LOL

Whimsical Wing - All facial hair is strictly controlled by the Kitchen Commander. What's Peter allowed to grow?

A Girl - Too late! I'm still allowed to keep the totally awesome goatee though.

Coffey - and she never lets me forget it. Ha Ha

On a Wing and a Whim said...

Peter's allowed to grow whatever he wants, but when he goes from shaved to stubble, he seems to shave it shortly after I jerk back from a kiss with "ack! prickly!"

Seems he prefers kisses to a beard. Which is too bad, given I wouldn't mind a beard - but I do mind trying to kiss something akin to a baby hedgehog.